Ladies, does it really matter if the compliment comes from a man who you find ugly?
Men, if you have complimented a beautiful woman and they act insulted, why do you think that is?
Here is why I ask:
I had lunch today with three women that are in my professional circle and our table was positioned right next to a table of men. I happened to be sitting elbow-to-elbow with one of the men due to the seating configuration.
No problem there, right?
It first starts with a bumping of my elbow ..
Him: Oh, sorry. We are sitting so close … I didn’t mean to bump you. Im left-handed.
Me: (Smiling) No worries
Him: (Smiling) But if I had to bump elbows with someone, you aren’t a bad person to bump into!
Me: (Smiles back)
Him: (Smiling) I may bump into you again!
Me: (Smiles back) Well, then this lunch is going to be interesting, isn’t it?
At this point he let’s out an awkward laugh and inadvertently spits food. He notices this and becomes embarrassed.
Him: Oh. Say it, don’t spray it, right?
Me: (Smiling) Oh, that happens to the best of us.
Him: Yeah, I guess so (awkward laugh)
When I turned my attention back to my table, the look on my friends faces said it all. They didn’t approve of the conversation or the man I was casually talking to.
Why you ask?
Because he wasn’t good-looking.
When the men paid their bill and walked out, the man turned to look at me and said goodbye. I enthusiastically said goodbye back, and that’s when the comments came at me.
“He was gross!”
“I hate when men like that speak to me. Did he not know he was out of his league?
“You shouldn’t encourage them like that”
“I just ignore men like that”
“He literally spit his food in your face! Gross!”
After they were done vocalizing their disgust, I started to ask questions. Does a compliment only matter if the man if handsome? Do they need a good-looking man to compliment them to feed their egos? If an ugly man compliments them, why do they see that as an insult, rather than a compliment?
They danced around the subject, filibustered their original points and denied that their egos or pride had anything to do with their reactions, and turned the blame on him and my encouragement of his behavior.
Through all that fog, snot, and bull … I heard the answer I was looking for. Apparently, compliments only matter if a man is good-looking.
Well shit, nobody told me this rule.
Call me crazy but I enjoy compliments from men, regardless of looks.
Crazy as in, crazy appreciative.